I’m perfect, but never enough. Knocking on the door of my subconscious wanting to come in and marry the two. I know we were taught that we were perfect, but never enough; I’m here to tell you to forget that notion we’re not perfect, but we are more than enough. With our lack of perfection the fact that we keep pushing and trying makes us perfect it makes us enough.

People see the drive that you have and it makes it easier for them to push you away. It’s not your fault how people perceive you, it’s your fault if you stay in a place of lack. It’s not your fault that people don’t think they deserve your light, but it is your fault if you dim yours to make everyone comfortable.

I’m perfect, but never enough. It’s your fault if you don’t open up your possibilities, it’s your fault if you stay in a space of lack, it’s your fault if you want to carry this burden.

I’m perfect, but never enough. Once again it’s your fault if you let people control how you feel about yourself, it’s your fault if you can’t get pass this hurdle. This is one of the biggest ones this one unlocks the mind of limitless possibilities.

Don’t be afraid of what you worked for, don’t be afraid of the rewards promised you. Fears had been faced many times and this fear is no different from the last, but I promise you. Even in your imperfections you’re more than enough. The only thing that makes you perfect is the need to keep going and push forward.

God is not separate from me the minute I separate the two is the minute I lose all power.

Once again what one believes has nothing to do with this journey. Do whatever brings you comfort in your trying times, but whatever it is you do search your truth.

The universe is working in your favor pushing and pulling when it needs to, the minute you go with the flow things fall into place.

Ask yourself why do you stay? Is it a sense of loyalty? Is it a sense of fear? So comfortable that you’d rather wake up and dread going somewhere? Walking into doors that you don’t necessarily belong in, walking into doors for a fear of not being able to pay a bill.

Did you know you receive more when you do something that you love? Did you know that you didn’t have to be stuck? Did you know that you’re not a tree and you’re not planted anywhere, even trees are moved and repurposed when their time is up.

Yea I know, you liked that one that one caught your attention. What will you do with it? What will come from this? What will your next step be?

Set me free of this bondage, I no longer want to be tied down by emotions. I want to be free to create, I want to be my creator. Set me free of this bondage that keeps me stuck in a loop.

Set me free of this bondage, that is stopping me from living. Stuck in a false reality between the old me that lives with fear and the new me that is free of all and able to make her dreams come true. Set me free of this bondage that keeps me in this loop.

Set me free of this bondage, that is starting to control my emotions, stirring up things that can no longer be buried. Stirring up the ability to be understanding, stirring up the tears because I just want everyone to be done. Out of this loop of disappointment, loop of what they think life is supposed to be, loop of pain and hurt. Set me free of this bondage that keeps me in this loop.

Set me free of this bondage, i can no longer go on like everything is okay. I can no longer hold the weight of someone else. I can no longer bare the responsibility of how someone else feels. I can no longer be weighed down by any of it. Set me free of this bondage that keeps me in this loop.

Set me free to fly as high as the hawk in the sky. Set me free to have the precision of a laser. Set me free.

I belong. Out of 7.53 billion people I’m 1 of them. Within all of these people, how do I not belong?

How can I see myself as less than? Or undeserving when I’m able to be 1 out of 7.53 billion. I know you’re saying how does that make you special if there’s so many other people?

I’m special because there’s only one me. Not one other person possess the gifts that I do. How can I not see this within myself? When I’ve witnessed people trying to be better just off of a conversation that we’ve had, better yet just by watching me work my own magic.

Everyone has a story surprisingly all of the stories seem similar. Heartbreak, abandonment, sickness, and death. My story is mine though and its mine to keep because it led me to this place and this moment.

This moment of trying to be alive, the moment of pulling myself together, the moment where I dont want to just live, eat and die. The moment where my absolute truth is mine.

1 out of 7.53 billion people and my purpose is to tell my story so that there is no confusion to who I am, who I’m going to be. This way when you tell your story there’s no confusion in who you are or who you’re going to be.

She’s hurting. When I’m healing her we are on top of the world, when I include her she’s the most productive and aware person imaginable.

She’s hurting. When I think it’s fine to go on without her she throws a tantrum. A tantrum just like a child saying things that we really don’t mean being self destructive.

Why would she want to ruin anything for us?

She’s hurting. She trust me to take care of her and I’m letting her down. I dont talk to her I don’t make her feel safe. I forget. That’s the problem she’s always been forgotten.

She’s hurting. She can’t tell you how she’s hurting, she can’t tell you what she needs from you if you don’t listen to her.

She’s hurting. I feel her and want to make her better. I promised to bring her with me, but at the smallest points of my happiness I forget about her.

She’s hurting. How can I forget about her if she’s apart of me? I disconnect from her correction she let’s go of my hand when she feels not needed. I don’t include her in my happiness only in my sadness.

She’s hurting. That’s the only time I listen to her when we’re both hurting. I have to keep her at all times. She’s my strength and my glue, she’s the one that truly makes it right, without her I’m nothing, she’s the one that holds it all together, she’s the one that deserves to be in the light.

She’s hurting. She’s my inner child and I have to be just as good to her as I am my own child. Without her there is no me.

She’s hurting but I promise to help her heal.

Self-love: regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).

This word has been thrown around so much that I think its losing its meaning in our ego. We speak on self-love as if it’s just the new thing to do. It caught on like wildfire and everyone ran with it.

I had a dream of an art show and in the end the girl exuded all of these beautiful colors I told myself there it is, that’s the point to love yourself so much that you just exude light.

For months I spoke about self-love and it being my goal I had to do everything to get there. I realized shortly that while it wasn’t impossible I had one step to fulfill before I got there. I had to self-heal and forgive myself for the damage that I had done to myself. How could all of a sudden I love this person that I didn’t love before? It didn’t make sense to me.

So I started to write what I thought self-love was and here is what I came up for me:

Self-love looks like loving me so deeply and being so forgiving of my downfalls and myself. It looks understanding to myself, when I can forgive and understand the outside world. Also, it’s like attacking problems head on instead of wishing them away. Let’s face it, that’s been done a lot too.

In order for me to get there I automatically knew there were things in me that I had to heal. That it wasn’t as easy as me just saying the words. That’s what I did I started doing the inner work and forgiving myself, the more I forgave the more I could see who I truly was, and for once I thought she was beautiful.

How many times have we fallen victim to saying oh that couldn’t be me in that situation? Then all of sudden its us in that situation. I found that people judge themselves so much that they project their judgements on other people they lose sight that it’s been them all along.

Have you ever considered that you were the toxic friend that you continuously speak about? Don’t get me wrong people are toxic, but let’s consider for a moment that people are just mirroring the things that you hate about yourself. Would that perspective change your mind on how you viewed others? Would that make you look deeper into yourself? Would you start questioning why you keep attracting the same people over and over again? If you looked deeper would you stop playing victim?

I think it’s a fair assessment to say that we’ve all become a victim at one point in our lives some worse than others, but that doesn’t take away from your experience. My question is, how long do we continue in a victimized mindset? How long do we believe that people are just bad and out to get us? When do we believe in ourselves enough to forgive and realize everyone has their own demons. When do we realize that only we can truly save and love ourselves?

When do we take the mask off and truly start loving ourselves? When do we forgive ourselves so that we can learn to forgive others? How can we ask for forgiveness from others and we aren’t willing to do the same? When do we become tired of being bitter?

Self-love is truly a journey and not words just spoken, it’s not only the exterior aspects of ourselves. Yea your hair is nice your clothes are kept, but what are you masking on the inside? What truths aren’t you facing? I think collectively we are in a bind and can’t figure out how to get out of it. I think that we all have this problem with thinking that no one will understand what we go through or we’re afraid to let people know because of fear of judgement. People judge as if they’ve never been through the fire, but what I also realized is people judge because they see something in you that they wish to see in themselves.

With these questions I ask you are you really as self-loving as you portray? Is your understanding of self as really deep as you think? Or is it as deep as your ego will allow. Let’s face it we’ve all lived in survival mode, but when is it truly time to live?

You were the rock I broke myself against trying to permeate your life and love. Trying to force it to be something that it wasn’t. That’s a bit rough there was love we just didn’t know how to produce better. I needed you tell me how and it never came.

In the process of trying to learn how to be a complete version of myself I met you.

All was lost I allowed you to sweep me away and take responsibility. I allowed the dictation of what my life looked like because hell what do I know, maybe you knew something I didn’t. Broken pieces trying to pull together in every turn until I stopped. I figured I’d rather stay broken than to do work that was impossible to do under the pressure.

Then there was the suffocation, the pressure that amounted to something worse. The pressure that made me save myself.

In my moments of solitude I found me, I picked up my pieces dusted them off and built something so much better. I built the person who is her true self, I built the person that stands in her own truth, I built the person that doesn’t need anyone but herself. In needing myself I built someone who didn’t want to be needed but only wanted.

So many times our need for people overshadow the need to save ourselves. Afraid to look at the pieces that are in desperate need of repair. Allowing yourself to think that everything is okay as long as someone is on the other side of the phone. What happens when everyone is gone? What life are you willing to live then? Do you drown out the voices with any and everything?

How do you save yourself?

Where did we go wrong to not know that we need ourselves above anything and anyone else? What do we do when as a collective whole we feel the same way, but aren’t having the conversation?

Why isn’t anyone speaking? Have you been so convinced that you’re the only one that’s going through something that no one could possibly understand? Who told you to keep secrets to yourself? Who told you not to break curses that bind you at every turn? Who told you that you couldn’t free yourself?

Breaking yourself against each wall, finding the lies in yourself to make you feel better, but have the nerve to demand the truth from somewhere else.

You owe it to yourself to be honest. You owe it to yourself to find the love inside that you didn’t think you deserved. You owe it to yourself to save YOU!

I just wanted to share my highest praise with you. In being thankful for everything that you have and everything that you are. Staying thankful for the dark times because only in that can you appreciate the true light. Staying thankful for the storms so that you can recognize the rainbows.

I wanted to share my highest praise with you so that you could start your day on a good note. Start your day knowing that you are awesome and God made no mistakes with you. That you’re uniquely made and only YOU could be YOU.

Take your experiences and be better. Better for you and only you. Know that you’re worth more than glitter and gold.

I wanted to share my highest praise with you so that you knew what was on the other side waiting for you. I wanted to share my highest praise with you so that you knew you were worthy.

In all of my experiences it led me to this moment of realization, the realization that I can create whatever reality I wanted.

I can be as free as the bird that flies in the sky. I’m already as free by shedding energies that don’t belong, learning that things happen to us to learn not to hold onto it. The only thing that hinders you is YOU. You allow your brain to lead not realizing you’re just in survival mode. Barely surviving because you feel a piece of you dying a slow miserable death.

When does it end? When will you make the choice to want to live? Where do you find your freedom? When will you forgive yourself? When will you learn that everything is okay?

This is not an easy task, but it’s more than worth it. There will be fight back, you’ll think you’re going crazy, you’ll feel like you’re not worthy but you’re more than good enough. No one is as good as you. You’re uniquely made, who could live your life better than you?

Let go of the fears that consume you, allow the light to shine through. Let go of the pain that you’ve endured it doesn’t belong in the same space as your greatness.

Be great in everything you do! Smile until it doesn’t hurt anymore, let it become natural. Tell yourself that you’re good even through the tears because guess what you are good.

There’s NO day that compares to your worse day. And you survived!

I look at her in a new light. I see the beauty that she’s always had in her, but there’s something in my alignment that makes me see her innocence. I see her in a new light she no longer has to have the responsibility of guiding me. She no longer has to bare the weight of why I choose to live. In her settle statements she allows me to know that she trusts me and she’ll follow.

A weight that she should’ve never had to carry, but she did it with such grace. A child with such a big heart she’ll do everything in her power to not to be an inconvenience. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure she’ll never have to learn the lessons that I had to learn. I’ll teach her how to be complete before going out into the world. She’ll continue being a better version of herself at 8 years old because I’ll continue to be a better version of myself. She’ll learn all the things I’ve had to learn at 31.

I have to say I am truly the most blessed when it comes to this child. Her resilience, her emotional intelligence, her ability to love like no other, the one that allows Angels to speak through her. The amount of everything wrapped up in a little body. I wish I could find the words that do her justice, but she’s bigger than any word than I could ever imagine.

She’s no longer my guiding light, I see her in a new light and it’s wrapped up in her innocence and love.