The Questions Of The Day

Why do you feel like you don’t have your answers?
Why have you lied to yourself about feeling safe in your body?
How have you forgotten the protection you’ve had your entire life?
Why must we swing low when we feel a natural high?
The questions of the day.
I act like I don’t know when I already do.
Mind VS Spirit. Human VS God.
How many times does God have to show up until you believe?
How many times will you have to show up for yourself until you have the confidence to stay on the high?
Why do we have to go low for you to get excited about the answers you already know?
When will we break out of the cycle of thinking we must feel sadness before we can feel happiness? You know what joy and excitement feel like without the pendulum swing.
God promised you peace, and you’ve obtained it once before. How do you lose it over a thought or feeling that is fleeting?

I look for people to make my decisions and to soothe my chaos, but chaos is where I thrive. The peace of God is foreign, so I make up scenarios to fit my old idea of what life should be or has been, or could be. Those are feelings of the past that stop me from being present. My life could be anything, and right now, it’s everything I need it to be. I’ve witnessed the spirit move through me and through those I love. Why have doubt when I see miracles every day?

God reminds me to be still. Not stew in the thoughts that drive me crazy. But be still and allow His peace to wash over me. I’m reminded that I know how to get out of my head and listen to my spirit. I’m reminded that I’ve always been safe. I’m reminded that I can ask all the questions in the world, and each answer will come.

She Is…

She is…

She is the essence that flows through your blood.
She is the flow that awakens the parts you thought were dead.
She is the wind whisper telling you which way to go.
She is the guide that leads you back home.
She is the peace that everyone desires but not everyone acquires.
She is what love is all about.
She is the beauty that lives in all things.
She is the one that will make you give all parts of yourself to have a taste of her.
She is the one that will bring joy and happiness.
She is the one that you’ll love forever because of everything she has to offer.
She is the one that holds all of your secrets close.
She is the one with whom you could be the most authentic version of yourself.

She is…

The essence of love

Finding a home

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child rings in my ears and pierces me through my soul. When I hear that song, it puts me in a chokehold.

Today, the story changed as I was listening to the song and allowed myself the freedom of not getting caught up in emotions. I realized that I had been blessed with some of the best women and mothers I know.

The ones who pray over me in silence and out loud. The ones who shower me with an abundance of knowledge and love. They show me their mistakes, so I won’t have to go down the same road. They love my child as if she were their own. They show me what they’ve done right to lighten my load so my path isn’t too dark.

Today was the last day that I felt like a motherless child because I found a home in too many women for me to feel alone.

Letting go (again)

My notebooks were issues from the past that I no longer needed to hold onto. They were the energy that was keeping me stuck. The words that will live forever are those I’ve already shared or will share in the future. They are not the words that went and died on paper. There is a level of something in the air where I am free to write and create again. I felt stagnant, not realizing it was because I had too much old trying to make the new. Letting go, I always feel like, eh, I might need this, or this has something for me. I don’t need it, and there is nothing.

There are cycles that I’ve completed that no longer require the desperation of my words: the pity and the begging. The God pick me vibes. Why me, God, vibes. I promise i’ll do better vibes.

This is where we come into our power again and become God chose me; I’m going to show you why there is no desperation or begging. Little steps, but I can’t keep the energy of pick me when I’ve already chosen me.

The energy of letting go.

Authority

Who gave you the authority on what you speak about or have it in your heart to talk about?

The observations, the ah-ha moments. The ideas and plans to move forward. Who gave you the authority over your voice and mind when I liked you better when you didn’t have a sense of your own.

I enjoyed the time spent when I could think for you and you did what I wanted you to do.

We were best friends at that time, but now. Now you’ve found your authority to speak and think for yourself, making me hate you.

I don’t enjoy the ideas that you have. I dont want the fact that I could no longer be your puppet master. I was pulling the strings to your heart and mind. How dare you cut the cords and be okay without me?

How dare you be able to stand up straight without me there to hold you up?

I liked you better when I could think and speak for you when your thoughts were mine.

How dare you allow me not to use your light as my own. The thief in the night comes to destroy.

I tried to destroy you. Better yet, I didn’t try to destroy you. I wanted to build you up to be the person I needed you to be for me. I needed to hide behind your light. I couldn’t allow people to see me for who I was because, in reality, who was I? My kids became my everything.

Better yet, you were my better half of me. The one who looked like me, so I could see myself in you to get another chance in life.

How dare you shift and take the light away from me and keep it for your own. Use it and make yourself better when it’s left me to drown in darkness.

I liked you better when I could think and speak for you.

Who gave you authority over your own life?

Greenlight

I am terrified of you, and yet I can’t get enough. I follow my heart, and it leads back to you. At the same time, my mind continues to play tricks on me.

But how could I listen to those stories that I make up in my mind when everything says green.

Greenlight. She reflects the darkness that lives inside of you.
Greenlight. Once you find your light, you shine a light on her darkness and help her heal.
Greenlight. You both somehow feel unworthy of each other.
Greenlight. You feel unworthy of her because you feel like you can’t measure up in her material world.
Greenlight. She feels unworthy because she realizes you want nothing from her except her love.
Greenlight. You both are having a hard time trusting the other.
Greenlight. You both proved you guys were in the long run.
Greenlight. Your souls transformed the minute you guys met.
Greenlight. Dont be afraid.
Greenlight. She only speaks what you feel in your heart.
Greenlight. It’s time to overcome it.
Greenlight. Love is in the air.

Open your heart

Open your heart. It’s been closed too long, allow the Spirit of love to move through. Get back to the space of happiness and creativity.

Open your heart to the unknown. Smile. Be free. Be love. Be fearless. Be you.

Open your heart.

Be free. Get what you deserve, and remember people and God are not for sale.

Trust the process

Open your heart.

Knowing God has me, my Spirit tells me to allow it to shine and thrive. I create balance in my life to ensure I can live a happy and healthy life. Over the last year, I learned what I needed as a human. This year I get to infuse my Spirit in that said life. Welcome back to my path! I hope this message reaches you Just In Time.
  1. Balance
  2. What do you want?
  3. The rainbows in the storm
  4. It's okay to not be okay
  5. Finding your light

The Wildflower

The wildflower grew from the wild child. They were carefree and marched to the beat of their drum. They were led by music that only they could hear.

The feeling of freedom comes with a price. The ones locked in a mental prison become guards to the free. Don’t do this, don’t do that, you don’t make sense, too many colors, too many smiles. How dare you be happy when you have nothing?

The wildflower dies in the wild child. They begin to conform to what society says rules. They wilt and die and forget they need nothing except themselves to make them happy.

The adult emerges and looks for happiness outside of themselves, forgetting about the time they were wild and free. They forget about the time the wild child was alive.

No one could ever sever the roots of the wildflower. The only question is, which parts of yourself are to be watered?

Is it the roots of the wildflower that grew inside the wild child who marched to the beat of their drum?

Or is the adult that emerged from what society says rules?

For me, I choose the wildflower that grew inside of the wild child because, without her, am I really alive?