I truly don’t give myself the credit I deserve.
I am the calm in the storm that destroys because I can see the beauty in the destruction.
I am the one that thrives in chaos because that has been my life all along.
I am the one that’ll find your brightside or at least the silver lining, so it’s best that you didn’t complain to me.
I am the one that plants seeds to show you the depth of your own mind.
I am the one who convinces you that you could save yourself.
I am the one who will be your light in your darkest moments.
I am the one that has healed through the fire. The one that emerges from the ashes.
I am the one who thrives in the fire.
I am the one who holds my dreams to a higher standard and by any means necessary they will come to fruition.
I am the one who speaks things into existence.
I am the one who loves the deepest even though she was never taught how.
I am the person that will always be a listening ear because I know what it’s like to be told be quiet.
I am the person, no excuse me, I am the light.

My souls shines so bright that I can no longer see my imperfections.
I am perfection.
I am happiness.
I am joy.

And when i tell you I am all of the above its from a space of rejoicing because I have made it out of the wilderness. Seasons change, but God is Present and keeps the promises that were made.

Light is starting to reach every part of the earth. People are starting to realize that everything they thought was reality was a lie. They’re starting to see that they need a healing in the land, but healing starts with them.

People are starting to search for the truth because the lie is too painful. The person next to you may very well not be the same person today as they were yesterday.

The transformation starts within, the moment you feel like there has to be something better than this because this cannot be it. I cannot live a life of just work and maybe a vacation here and there with the permission of someone else.

The truths that were hidden in the dark and God they are evil, are coming to light. How could we have missed so much? Oh! Right, we only see what they show us.

Puppet masters pulling the strings. You can talk about this, but don’t you dare talk about that.

The one thing we all have in common is the fact that we want to be loved. Every last one of us wants to be loved.

So, why in the hell can’t we just be what we all want? I can say that I love you without needing a response, your lack of response doesn’t change my heart.

I love you and you and you because I can. I love you because you don’t feel loved. I love you because you deserve to be loved. I love you because at the end of the day we’re all we have.

If someone said,in order heal your land and your people you had to love like you never loved before, would you love with every fiber of your being?

Because I have to tell you that i would.

I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being.

Okay, bare with me as this may seem like a ramble, but i promise you it’s a good one.

God has showed up and showed out. If saying the universe makes you feel better then read this through that lens, but let’s get over ourselves and realize that it’s the same source, force and power behind it.

I choose to praise God!

Now, the level of excitement I feel right now is out of this world. Since I quit my job I haven’t needed or wanted for anything. Over the course of time I have received over $10,000 don’t ask how because my how wouldn’t be yours. Just know when people said no God said yes.

I say that to say this. Find what’s in your heart and follow the hell out of it. We have become so accustomed to thinking our heart gets broken. Your feelings live in your mind and feelings are fleeting. Your mind is put in place to protect you it’s all for survival. Following your heart will give you the most alive feeling that you’ve ever felt. If 2020 taught us anything, it taught us that in a blink of an eye it could all change, and life wasn’t guaranteed.

Back to why I want to rejoice lol. The last few months I have been able to focus on what makes my heart shine and to dive into my passions, some new and some that I forgot about. God sent me into the wilderness literally the woods were my backyard lol, but I just knew going in i was getting a miracle. My miracle didn’t happen the way I thought it would. I began to question like um I’m here doing what you said. I’m ready for the next step.

My inner voice said, hoe, how are you ready for something that you’re not putting action to? (God has a dope way of speaking to you in a language that you understand) don’t judge me though lol.

That’s the moment I sat and came up with the modules for my business and content for the website that im currently working on.

Long story short.

Find what lives in your heart and follow the hell out of it because as fate would have it you will be protected and given more than you deserve.

Find the language that God speaks to you in and listen.

Without action there really is no plan and without taking steps doors can’t be closed and opened for you.

Stay dope and drink water

P.S. as I make my own shifts I could see the people closest to me making their own and stepping into their purpose. If they haven’t found their purpose they’re stepping out of their unhappiness and moving towards a brighter day.

Energy is a beautiful thing!

I’m starting a self-love empowerment coaching business and put together 4 modules.

They include:
Self-love
Happiness/fears
Forgiveness
Healing

I’m looking for 4 volunteers to do the modules you could pick one or all 3. Healing is the recap of what we learned over the course of time.

Requirements:
Someone who is serious about changing their way of thinking.
Someone who is open and honest and not afraid to share how they feel.

The work involved is answering the basic questions in as much detail as possible.

From there I’ll tailor questions to your specific need and we’ll set goals and task for you to do.

I’m here to hold you accountable, but I also need you to hold yourself accountable.

I know life happens, but there can’t be too many excuses.

Trust me the process isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.

I’m an open book there will never be a moment where you feel alone.

If interested you can email me tamirra.holland@gmail.com and everything is strictly business and between us.

The way everyone was excited for 2020, everyone thought that it was their year and they thought they were ready to make their dreams come true.

Then all of a sudden, we were met with bullcrap on top of bullcrap and everyone got discouraged.

I wonder if the dream that you had placed on your heart in the beginning of the year was strong enough to counteract everything that happened.

Were you able to set things up or even live life to the fullest?
Did you pick up hobbies in the midst of everything being shutdown?
Did you realize this was the time to heal things that came to the surface to be dealt with?

I guess what I am really asking is if everything was in the reverse and what your idea of blessings were started to pour down.

Would you be ready to receive them? Or would you have missed them because of “circumstances”?

As I lay here with my eyes closed I could picture your face. All the while I’m hearing a conversation that I’ve had about you where I stated you were God to me.

You’re a goddess in your own right, matter of fact you embody the very nature of the conversation if God was a woman.

If God was a woman she would be just like you. The way you look into my eyes and past my faults and pull up my deepest darkest fears. You don’t do it to judge, no, you do it to help heal me. You nurture every flaw that I tried to hide and you tell me that I’m beautiful.

You look me so deep into my eyes that you pull every emotion out of me, but those damn tears are what you get the most. You feel my emotions in order to help me understand myself.

Your nature is so calm and soothing, but oh so protective. You possess the strength of all the women that came before you. You are a light and im like a moth to your flame.

God, just rip me open already. I feel my hearts core expanding at this very moment.

I feel myself becoming bigger than my body can hold. God, just let me expand already.

God, just tell me what to do and work through me i promise that I’ll do it. Just allow me to expand.

Allow me to rip through this shell thats too small for my being. Let my soul shine brighter than what my body can hold.

Let me be the light that you so desperately need me to be.

God, allow me to expand in order to do the work.

God, allow me to expand bc staying in this space hurts.

God, you are making my heart bigger than my body can hold. Just please give me some more space.

I’ll breathe it out as my heart grows, I’ll breathe it out as my light expands, I’ll breathe it out until that beam of light shoots out of me and fully connects with you.

God? this is what it feels like to truly carry you in my heart? Lord, you are preparing a sacred place. Cleaning the debris that i must’ve missed.

I welcome you into my space and into my heart. I’ll carry you wherever I go as you have carried me even before I knew you.

My breathing slows as the beam of light comes back into me fully connected. The expansion is not fully complete, but you’ve placed yourself into my heart.

I’ve searched for you and I have found you. I’ve searched for me and I have found me.

I stand in my power and in my truth because we have already proved that nothing is impossible.

In order to access 5D love you have to let go of 3D.

5D is the type of love that finds a balance in the darkest moments. 5D is the type of love that will make you rip yourself from the inside out in order to allow it to flow freely.

5D is the type of love that everyone hasn’t been privy to bc they can’t let go of the idea of what love is and what they’ve been taught. They can’t let go of the false feeling of what they think love feels like.

What would love look like to you if you ripped your heart open and lived in it’s core? How much would you settle for if you truly felt 5D love flowing from your heart.

The sweet taste of understanding through any and every moment. The sweet taste of looking at someone knowing they were made for you and only you.

5D is the type of love that i strive for and to keep. I realized that I was torn between two worlds and I only belong in one. The one I belong in is far from the ego disguised as the heart.

My abundance is joy wrapped in happiness. They are the moments created by staying in the present. My abundance is love wrapped around me. The love that I have for myself and for others, but its also the love that my Angels give to me. My abundance is lessons wrapped in pain, realizing without the pain there is no happiness therefore no abundance. My abundance is not something that is monetary, but its something that I worked damn hard for. The smile on my face, know that I worked for it. The words that come out of my mouth, know that I worked for it. The gratitude that I feel everyday, know that I worked for it all, so when you see the tangible blessings start rolling in please believe me when I say I deserve it all.

I felt the need to write on sexual trauma, I feel it in my spirit. I can feel her blaming herself for not being strong enough to fight him off. I can feel her energy of regret for not telling her father. I can feel her energy of trying to figure out where she went wrong in the way she loves herself. I can feel her get mad at herself for allowing him to have the power over her after so many years. I can feel her agonizing screams on the inside, as her tears fall silently down her face. I just want to grab her and pull that energy out of her heart. I want to tell her she doesn’t have to hold it anymore. It happened and im sorry, but she doesn’t have to feel guilty. I need to tell her how beautiful she is, I need to look her in the eyes and take her pain away. I need to take her pain and allow my light to set her free. As much as I want to set her free only she could do it for herself, only she could find her light and her beauty, only she could take her power back. I can only send her light, love and positivity while she goes to the darkest places of her mind. So, I ask you to pray for her because sadly, we all know a HER.