God is the tree that supplies us with oxygen to breathe.

God is the soil that harvests the crops.

God is the crops that nourish our bodies.

God is the mother that brings life into the world.

God is the father of much power who can give a speck of himself and create a new life.

God is the bee that pollinates the world.

God is the birds that sing in the morning to tell you; it’s a brand new day.

God is the rain that washes the dirt away.

God is the sun that shines bright and illuminates the world.

God is the moon that controls all water.

God is everything that meets the eye.

I hear silence; I hear nothing and yet in a complete space of being calm. Usually, when I hear silence, I feel alone, but today I know I’m never alone because I will always have me.

I will always show up for myself.
I will always take the lead in my life despite what it looks like to others.
I will be the trendsetter when it comes to following your heart.
I will take the lead in showing people what it looks like.

Silence is no more. Drums are going off because I have found the way to my heart. The course was never through someone else. It always had to be through me.

The drums and trumpets are going crazy because I have found the song that makes my heart sing.

The song that has been leading me home. I make my heart sing—my ability to find happiness even while alone makes my heart sing. My ability to take care of myself makes my heart sing. Let’s not forget my light that shines bright for the world to see.

When everyone is gone and the dust settles. The quiet time no longer haunts me the most. It is in the quiet time where I could hear my heart sing.

I’ve always had pretty good luck with lovers and friends. They never ended on a sour note. They just ended. People come, and they go. They take what they need, but they leave you with something so much more. They leave you with lessons for your heart.

Now what you do with those lessons is entirely up to you. They leave to show you your rights and wrongs. They go to show you who you indeed are. That is if you learn the lessons that are always in your favor. I mean, it is your life. It will always be in your favor.

I have climbed mountains after mountains to get me where I am. I said the person for me would have to meet me where I am. I couldn’t go back to save you. I sometimes lie when it comes to matters of the heart. I will save you when I can’t; you have to learn to protect yourself. As I understand, you know. As I take space to continue to climb, you find your footing to meet me where I am.

If the last spot I left you is where you choose to stay. I have to say it’s okay.

I’ve always had pretty good luck with lovers and friends. They never ended on a sour note. They just ended. People come, and they go. They take what they need, but they leave you with something so much more. They leave you with lessons for your heart.

Me: God, I would like more bricks to build a wall around my heart.

God: (instantly laughing) I’ll play along. Why do you want a wall around your heart?

Me: well, everyone else gets to live cozy behind their wall. It seems safe back there

God: What did you do with the bricks from your last wall?

Me: well, you had me build a house with them. I didn’t ask to take those bricks away; I asked for new bricks so I could make a wall too.

God: So, you’re asking me for more bricks (problems) when you’re working on the shingled roof.

Me: Something like that; no, what I am saying is why does everyone else get to live pretty behind their wall, and I’m out exposed.

God: are you not protected? What about that time you were less than half an inch away from getting hit by that car, and everyone who saw knew you were saved because they couldn’t understand how you weren’t hit.
What about all the times you weathered the storm with strength and perseverance. Were you not protected then?

Me: (humbly asking at this point) but God, why is it that people could put the mirror to my face, and I have to face it no matter how I look in the reflection.

God: bc you’re uniquely you and have the capability of loving yourself through it all.
God: keep working at your house. We’ll furnish it later.

The higher she goes, the more she sees who can’t go with her, and frankly, it no longer bothers her. Everyone wins on his or her level. You can’t bring someone somewhere they don’t want to be.

Maybe not want to be but can’t be. Everyone wins on their level.

Do you stop your progression because of your love for others? Or do you love yourself to keep going?

This seems like a hard one to write. You want to save everyone and bring them with you. Who’s to say you can’t win first and lead the way.

Who’s to say letting go this time is letting go forever. And if it is forever, does it stop your progression. Do you live for you, or do you live for them? Every time you turn around, someone tells you that they come first, which there is nothing wrong with that, of course not.

When do you live? When do you come first? Everyone can’t go with you, and that’s ok because everyone wins on their level.

This level is yours and where you’re going, trust everyone can’t come. Steady yourself and know everyone wins on their level.

She is knocking on Heaven’s door while still trying to play with the devil.

She’s screaming God; please let me in. I’ve had enough.

Rebirth me God, please take me with you. Screaming and shouting, God, where are you?

I’ve learned all there is to know; I promise I’ll be good Lord, please deliver me from this place.

They are knocking on the door to Heaven while still playing with the devil.

I’ve healed Lord. I promise I have; you watched me walk through hell to get here.

I know I stayed here too long. I thought that was what was being asked of me.
No regrets, Lord; I did what I thought was right. I banged on this door as you watched me plead for mercy.

I see now, Lord. There’s nothing left for me here. I healed in the devil’s darkness, and I’m ready for the divine light.

I now know, Lord, I couldn’t live in both places; I couldn’t have both in my heart.

I choose the light over darkness. That’s what you’ve been calling me to do.

I see now God, it all makes sense. I promise it does.

She’s knocking on Heaven’s door bc she now knows that’s where she belongs.

Imagine a room with boxes and stuff everywhere” neatly” placed but things about.

Then somehow, this box that held all of my dark thoughts and secrets cracked and leaked and touched everything in my mind.

Now there is complete sadness bc this sadness touched everything.

Who is going to clean this mess? I had to. I had to touch everything and see if it was worth keeping or throwing out.

Little by little, I organized.

I organized so well that I have file cabinets in my mind. I see a desk, and I see file cabinets.

I can recall things from single words.

File 2575 keyword (beer) and I can remember a whole conversation wrapped around beer

File 6356 keyword (muse), and I can go back to a poem I wrote years ago. That’s how my brain operates lol

Healing starts when you’re willing to touch everything.

I hope that before 2020 ends, you can reflect and say you gave it your best shot and made some dreams come true. I hope that by the end of 2020, you realized how temporary things are, and nothing is what it seems. I hope that in 2020 you didn’t wait for something to happen and went out and made it happen. I wish for you that there weren’t any excuses, and you learned how to adapt. Despite witnessing the crumble of everything you knew prior, I hope that you found a piece of you.