What we all seek is the wisdom to get our lives in order. We seek it forgetting that God is willing and ready to give it whenever we’re ready to receive it; God would never tell you too much at once; He’ll only show you enough to get you excited to work towards your goal.

Allow the excitement to fill you up, and when you need more, ask God to release more wisdom. Free will comes at a price we can’t receive if we don’t ask. Allow God to move with no resistance, and when there is some, be still and work through what is stopping you at that moment. Take it to God and be honest and say, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with this, but please take it away from me and transform it while you continue to transform me.

Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her; those who hold her fast will be blessed.
Proverbs 3:13‭-‬18 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/pro.3.13-18.NIV

The love that triggers the hell out of you, quite literally. It comes in to heal all of your broken pieces and puts you back together.

Even when it comes time to walk away, there is no fear of the unknown because, in your heart, you’ve already been told the truth. Your mind could say this is the end, but your heart says it’s only the beginning.

When things end, it leaves room for other things to usher in. God said, let go, and I’ll give you better.

I fell in love with your spirit but held onto your body out of fear.

I have not been entirely single since the age of 18, and I plan on living it up.

Someone said, oooo hot girl summer!! I said, yea, if that means becoming the person I was destined to be, then yea, sure.

I have everything in me to move forward with my dreams. I have the same energy that you supplied and taught me.

I told you that I needed you to take me home, but in reality, I have the power to do it myself.

I left you here to meet you there. Only when two people become whole could they become one.

My ability to become whole is what you taught me.

I asked when will the tears stop; she said when the flower blossoms.

“April showers bring May flowers.”

The pain is only temporary. I’ve cried and begged before. Now I’m begging myself for forgiveness.

Once again, asking myself to forgive myself for not understanding even when I knew better.

I could always feel an ending coming. I guess it’s one of my many gifts.

You know today, April 8, is a year since I quit my job. I went against everything that people said and everything that people felt. I had to follow my heart and spirit, and under the circumstances, I had to quit.

Here’s the thing my spirit never lies.

In my heart, I knew I was spending my life with someone.

I would argue until I was blue in the face.

But…

We ended our friendship. So, I sat and questioned everything and processed what I felt.

And I said, but God.

And God says, only when two people become whole could they become one.

Wasn’t I whole in this friendship the way it was going? Or was I repeating the same patterns?

It turns out I was repeating, but when you stop blaming others and look at yourself, you start to realize you were the problem. They were only mirrors of what you were feeling about yourself.

Only when you step away could you see yourself.

Subconsciously, I’ve built these walls around myself and felt like I wouldn’t be whole if I didn’t have certain things.

But…

You know what? Those things don’t define me, but what it does show me is the gift of manifestation through my dreams and my work and my ability to make things happen.

It’s trusting myself and my spirit to put action behind my words without external love.

My spirit doesn’t lie.

“If you love something, let it go free. If it doesn’t come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever.”

Either way, experiencing love is the greatest gift of all. If it wasn’t mine to keep, I still cherish all that it was in the moment.

I put Heaven on hold, hoping to find love in this world.

God said, let me show you something more. I said, God, don’t you mean let me show you two more?

He said no, I mean you. I said, well, no, then I’ll stay here a little longer because there has to be love somewhere.

I waited and got myself prepared and all pretty.

God said, are you ready?  I said no God, just a bit longer.

In my little while longer, I found what felt like perfection.

But I wasn’t perfect.

God said you are perfect. Just come home.

I said, no, God, just let me prove myself a bit longer.

I don’t have the hustle and bustle spirit.

This is what I love about myself because I allow the energy of the universe to flow to me and won’t move until it feels right.

People don’t understand that way of life, which is fine. It’s a hard pill to swallow because it’s not something that you can make sense of.

But if I’m not perfect now, I’ll never be because this is who I am.

This is me. Take it or leave it. I was left on the table, and I continued to tell God not yet.

I’m sure they’ll see me. Look how bright I am shining.

God said, yes, but I can make you shine brighter. I argue and say yea, no, I know, but just a bit longer.

So, I sat for just a bit longer until I said, okay, God, it’s time.

I don’t know when or if goodbye will ever come, but I do know Heaven can no longer wait.

When learning how to set healthy boundaries for yourself.

There is NO room for compromising.

The person that asks you for a compromise is asking you to choose them over you.

Always choose yourself.

You ate from the tree that didn’t bear good fruit, and as you watch the tree fall, you don’t know what to do.

You’ll make excuses, and you’ll say, well, they’re only human. You’ll be confused, and you may even joke because, in the end, you realize what you might have done.

You consumed someone who was only human. You took on ideologies that didn’t necessarily align with yours, but it sounds good enough.

The trees will continue to fall; you will continue to be confused. You will continue to make jokes because that lessens the accountability on your part.

In the end.

Well, that’s really up to you.

You already knew what to do before you ate from the tree that didn’t bear good fruit.

We were taught that people love things more than the person in front of them.

So, in our minds, we believe that we have to obtain material things to be loved.

The more you have, the more people will love you.

The sad truth is if we love only people who have things, we miss out on unconditional love.

You know, the love that we could all feel if we learned to put things down.

I know it’s a hard thing to believe. Could you be happy without things? How could this be?

Because happiness could never come from things or what people can do for you.

Love could never be felt through things of the material world.

Things lose value.

The new car off the lot lost value the minute it left the dealership.

Things only have as much value as we believe they do.

Someone from the South will look at someone from the North and say you’re bugging. I’m not paying that much for a house when I could have much more for less.

When we put a value on love, we lose.

You lose yourself because you now put a price on yourself when in actuality, you’re priceless.

You lose the person that could have shown you the true meaning of love and happiness because you felt their love wasn’t worth much without the car and house.

Unconditional love opens us up to worlds beyond the one you could see.

Unconditional love opens us to ourselves.

But I guess we’ve run so far from ourselves that things are good enough to fill the voids.

Love is coming to sweep through the nations, and every dark place will be lit no stone unturned.

Remember, things are fleeting if met with any choice. Always choose love.

Love with no conditions.

Im sorry that you had to die; I promise I won’t forget what you’ve done for me.

I promise that your death won’t go in vain. I promise to live a life that you tried to live but couldn’t.

I will forever remember how much you suffocated so that I won’t make the same mistakes.

I will live by your example and make it better than you could have ever dreamed.

I will set the boundaries that you never could. I will honor myself beyond the stars.
I promise I won’t settle for less than I deserve.
I promise that I won’t help people beyond my ability.
I promise you I will never bleed myself to death again.

You gave your last breath yesterday for me to live. You took me to the place where people go to die and Lord, did I feel it.

But you gave your life so that I could breathe easy. You remind me never to allow anyone to suffocate me again.

For that, your death won’t go in vain.