With my light you’re like a moth to a flame.

You’ve also seen what flames do to moths so it scares you the most.

This time you aren’t a moth that is engulfed and killed.

You’re a Phoenix that rises from the ashes.

You get the opportunity to be someone new. I know right? Scariest thing in the fucking world.

Or is it? With time things always change, with time we have to learn to adapt.

Or do we? We can just be our truest selves and live in our own truth bc the taste of it is oh so sweet.

We’ve done things the same for so long that we think it’s normal we also think that we’ll get different results. The true definition of crazy.

I feel your burning desire. I feel all of what you don’t say. And that’s why I push you to express yourself bc you have so much to say.

And I know with my light you’re like a moth to a flame.

There is your side, his/her side and then there is the truth. Right now, I don’t think any of us have the truth no matter what side ya’ll on.

Have the same story told by different people on opposing sides and the narrative fits their beliefs.

Fueling anger for absolutely nothing. It’s really sad how beliefs can do that for you.

I guess everyone has their own account of the “truth”.

When I was in therapy, my therapist told me I had the personality of a child who had an addict for a parent. I raised my eyebrow and told her, no this is just my personality, I thought I was cool. She basically said, you are, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re a textbook case. Lol

Ya’ll, I’m in a whole textbook, I read it for myself lol. I never rock the boat and I always stay in the background, learning how to be as independent as possible. Don’t get me wrong my mom did her best while drowning out her own demons and again I think I’m pretty cool lol.

When you truly heal it comes with a cost. You lose the personality that was forged in trauma. You lose the only identity that you’ve ever known.

Do you understand how scary that is?
Without your personality, who are you?
Are you operating from a space of love or operating from a space to be loved?

There is a major difference, if it’s to be loved then you’ll never be satisfied.

I’ve had years of being unsatisfied because of the space I’ve operated from. Years of disappointment because of my expectations of people. I was looking for them to give me something I couldn’t give myself.

Do you understand how dangerous that is?
Do you understand the type of power you give away?

In order for me to love I had to heal. I had to heal from all of the trauma, even the ones i forgot about. Lord, those hit me like a ton of bricks lol.

The only true way to self-love and true love of others is to heal yourself. All of the pretty words you speak over yourself, the mask you wear, and strong arm emojis won’t save you. The only thing that could is facing yourself in the mirror and acknowledging your “ugly” truths.

Two becomes one.

The other day I was sitting on the porch painting and right next to the house a family of deer came out of the woods.

A few moments after that a humming bird was to the left of me and stayed there long enough for me to see it.

Later that day, we were in a car and a little frog jumped on the windshield right in front of me.

Needless to say, I had a day of signs from Heaven. As we all know everything happens for a reason. Everything has a meaning behind it, you just have to be willing to pay attention.

What if I told you I could get you back to your true self, what if I told you I had the gift of restoration, what if I told you I could lead you to your purpose?

Would you take me up on my offer?

I think it’s really disheartening.

Everyone screams about the importance of mental health, but then turns around and jokes on or doesn’t understand people fight demons bigger than they could ever imagine.

Yeah, people make their own bed and have to lie in it, but I’m sure we have all had to do the same.
If you can’t meet someone with compassion and understanding maybe you shouldn’t meet them at all.

Why am I scrolling down my timeline seeing videos of fighting and someone killing people at point blank range? What are you feeding yourself as you watch these videos and what are you trying to feed me or others by sharing?
Yea I get it your page you can do what you want. The question is, when will you realize the energy that you put out is the energy you get in return? Everyone is screaming how important energy is and how they have to protect theirs at all cost and yet they are doing themselves the most harm.

Here is another thing for you to think about.

1. You have a group of 5 “friends” that show each other disrespect. As people walk by they see the disrespect and they think they could join.
Why? Bc that’s what they’re being shown.

2. I say something disrespectful about my sister to you and you turn around and say something about her.
Can I get mad? No because I’ve already set the standard for how to treat her. The narrative of well that’s my sister I can say what I want is out the window.

3. If I am defeated in my own space and I have a lack of care for my belongings.
Can I get mad at people for coming in and not respecting my space? You could only hope that people wouldn’t follow my lead, but it’s been proven time and time again that people will treat the space how you treat it.

I’m just going to leave all of that right there with you.

I think it’s time to take accountability for ourselves on an individual level and for once look at the energy you put out.

Life isn’t rainbows and sunshine.
But it doesn’t have to be
Death and destruction either.

My experience is unconditional love wrapped in trauma.

The purest love trampled on by everything that I was taught along the way. The idea of not feeling worthy of love, so taking in any form that i could get.

Taught that i was supposed to lose myself in every situation that i found myself in; leaving behind bits and pieces of the purest love.

Only to fill myself with the coldness and trauma of others. Taking on their energy as if it were my own.

Allowing people to permeate my being while breaking themselves against me. Watching as the vicious cycle continues.

Broken pieces after broken pieces, when will it end? It won’t end if we keep wearing the prettiest mask. The mask that says, we truly love ourselves when in reality we live with broken pieces inside. It won’t end if we keep saying that we’re healed, but in reality we’re willing to still hurt those that come across our paths.

To be loved with no conditions is something that we strive for, but we can’t even learn to forgive.

How can we expect something for ourselves when we aren’t willing to give it away freely?

Expectations so high of others when you can’t even give it to yourself.

My experience is unconditional love wrapped in understanding.

My experience is unconditional love wrapped in compassion.

My experience is unconditional love wrapped in truth.

My own truth that sets me free.

A suffocation of emotions and old beliefs, I feel the stagnation of my mind playing tricks on me. I feel the need to release repressed feelings that no longer serve me.

I feel the need to breathe and release, but I’m getting lost in the how. Watching everything around me instead of what’s inside of me. Paying attention to all the wrong things.

I speak for me, but I also speak for you. I speak for you because I can feel you in the deepest part of my soul. My suffocation is not mine alone.

The words don’t flow out of your mouth as it does mine. I’m the mirror that reflects your deepest needs and desires. The mirror where you could be your true self.

I shine the light through all of the mask you picked up along the way. As I heal you heal, as I become one with myself you begin to follow suit. You see the light that shines bright and you want it for yourself.

Death of one’s self is not an easy pill to swallow. They tell you not to go into the light, but that’s where you become alive.

In her white skin she shined a light on my black experience. She gave me the tools and understanding in order for me to transverse my own darkness.

She allowed me the freedom to feel as she gave me the logic behind it. She allowed the space of understanding and compassion.

I was given a shoulder that didn’t look like mine.

Was that just a coincidence? of course not. Her white skin and understanding allowed me to identify with my black skin and the beauty of it.

With her white skin and my black skin we become one. To shine a light where there is darkness.

God, I call forth your people. I call forth the ones that can lead in healing the lands. The ones who know for sure that the power lives inside of them. The ones who are led by spirit and not by ego.

God, I call forth your people that know they serve a purpose and for them to start living in it and if the have already started the journey to continue more than ever to live it on purpose. I call forth the ones who are fighting within themselves to find the peace they so desperately seek.

God, I call on the ones not distracted by the narrative of the world around them, the ones who know that they create their own reality. I call on the ones who are ready to create the reality of love and understanding. Compassion of knowing we all get it wrong sometimes and no one is perfect.

God, I call on you for the protection of these people, I call on you to send your army of Angels because this fight won’t be easy. I call on you to shed light where there is darkness. Guide us to our divinity, help us search ourselves to find you.

God, I call on you because it’s time!

And so it is
In Jesus’ name Amen