I’m always asked where did that sweet girl go? The one who was always under her mother.
I look in confusion because this woman standing in front of you would give you her blood, sweat, and tears. She would give you the shirt off of her back and the last dollar in her pocket. The one thing you can’t get is beyond my boundaries, but if I’m willing to give you all of me, why don’t I deserve respect?
But if you want to know where that sweet girl went. She died at nine years old when she was violated and realized she had to survive independently.
She died when people thought they could disrespect her with their words, and she wouldn’t speak up.
She died when she realized the silent treatment for a child is the worst form of punishment because I was taught that my existence wasn’t even enough to be acknowledged.
She died when she no longer felt safe in her skin. Where she realized her kindness was looked at as a sign of weakness.
Luckily for me, I know that every death is a rebirth, and I got the opportunity to be reborn into a woman who still knows how to love despite not being shown how. I learned how to put myself above others while still being able to give a helping hand. I learned that the actions of many have nothing to do with me, but they’re afraid to face themselves.
I learned that through my darkest moments, I am fully covered and protected.
I am more than safe. I also learned that it’s okay to let people go in peace. There’s no need to hang onto what you wish someone was or who they could’ve been. You take them by their actions or lack of, and you move on.
That goes for anyone doesn’t matter the relationship. People don’t get to destroy you and then be a part of your success story.
Moral of the story. Your experiences shape you, but it’s up to decide what you’re going to build with those shapes.